I and You Statements

Teacher guide
Contents / Directions
Time allocation
Goal – purpose
Students differentiate between making I statements and making YOU statements by writing a letter directly to someone who they feel they have an impasse with. Students will understand the differences between these kinds of statements by identifying the feelings/emotions around this impasse in their letter. Facilitator/teacher should also check in with himself / herself and move beyond any “soft” issues there may be in order to provide the students with the appropriate atmosphere where trust and respect are allowed.

ASLA ESLR’S TO BE MET
Animo graduates will be Academic Achievers who:

1. Think and write critically and analytically across the curriculum
2. Identify and use resources effectively to research and evaluate concepts across the curriculum
3. Demonstrate learned skills through the use of application, analysis, and synthesis
4. Gain eligibility for college by completing required coursework and are equipped with the knowledge of educational pathways; career choices; and institutions of higher learning
Animo graduates will be Cultural Learners who:

1. Are culturally aware and work towards understanding diverse perspectives, values, and histories
2. Are able to communicate with sensitivity within and across diverse communities and groups
3. Are leaders within their community who contribute to the improvement of life in their school and community
4. Are models of ethical behavior through their involvement in school functions, clubs, and committees
Animo graduates will be Effective Communicators who:

1. Utilize technology as a tool for learning and communicating
2. Demonstrate skills of speaking, listening, reading, and writing for different purposes in an academic and social setting
3. Collaborate, work effectively, and manage interpersonal relationships with both peers and adults in diverse settings and groups
Animo graduates will be Life-Long Learners who:

1. Are adaptive to a wide array of professional and cultural settings
2. Are goal oriented and value continual goal setting and reflection
3. Are open to discovery and develop enthusiasm and interest for learning

Procedure
1. Explain to students that we make I and YOU statements all of the time when relating to others in communication.
Providing them with examples will help them begin to see the differences: I like to….I believe that … I think that… Examples of YOU statements include… YOU make me…. YOU said…. YOU told….. YOU are….. YOU think that….
Use the following three questions journal prompt or lead the class into a discussion by having them provide answers to the following three questions
A. What does it take for you to trust?
B. What does trust feel like?
C. How do you build trust?
4. Take student responses and organize them according to the question on the board, allowing students to view how others perceive trust building. This is helpful to students as they see how others deal with an impasse.
5. Explain to students that they need to think about someone they had an impasse with. Let them know that as they remember these “difficult” times that it is inevitable for them to remember or feel some of those emotions that are attached to this person/impasse. Their individual writing assignment will allow them to channel these feelings out without any censorship.
6. Encourage students to identify someone. For those who may say that they do not have someone that they have had an impasse with, let them know that parents, older/younger siblings, acquaintances or (best) friends are all people who we could potentially have disagreements with.
7. Time students for 10 minutes. Let them know that they will have a total of 10 minutes to write a direct letter to this person with whom they have an impasse with. In this letter, without censorship, they will write non stop about what they truly think and feel about this impasse with this person only using YOU statements.
8. time students for 10 minutes. Let them know that they will have a total of 10 minutes to write a direct letter to this person with whom they have an impasse with. In this letter, without censorship, they will write non stop about what they truly think and feel about this impasse with this person only using I statements.
4.
Debrief goal:
Encourage participants to take responsibility for what they think, feel and believe. Acknowledge that “I” Statements are difficult. Give examples of what the “I” Statements are and what they are not. Allow for students to share out if they feel comfortable doing so. Use the following questions to help you debrief.
1. How did it feel making the “you” statements?
2. How did it feel making the “I” statements?
3. What was different about making the statements?
4. Which did you find challenging and why?
5. Which will continue to be a challenge for you?